Thirty eight.

My heart aches.

It aches and it aches.  I feels heavy and overcast.

Coming home has been nice, do not get me wrong.  It's lovely to see family and friends, it's nice to have hot showers and western food.  But at the same time, so much of me wishes to be back in Cambodia.  And I don't know what to do.  I don't know how to deal with this, when I want to be here and I want to be there.  I feel really awful, like I'm not appreciating being home, not appreciating the good experience, not appreciating the moment I'm in.  I wish this wasn't so.  

It's just such a strange feeling to feel so drawn to two different places on the opposite sides of the world.

Cambodia - Part 12.

How does one sum up a life changing experience?

It's so mind boggling to think that I'm already back.  It feels like so recently that I was counting down the MONTHS until I left, and now I sit here 12 hours after arriving home thinking about how it's already done and over.

The experiences from Cambodia are things that I'd like to think will stay with me for the rest of my life.  I think back on my time there and my heart actually physically feels warmth, love, and a longing to still be there.  

Highlights include:

+ Seeing Brianna for the first time in Phnom Penh

+ Our culturally inaprop bursts of laughter wherever we went together (they were particularly good and attention drawing when on a motto, just for the record).

+ The motto accident - hiiiilarious.

+ Teaching english to the young adult classes - very funny moments.

+ Beach and waterfall days and our night out with the boys

+ Learning more about not taking things for granted.  Not that I'm a pro, but it's refreshing to come to the realization that something as simple as laughter is a luxury.

+ Phone call with the Lee family on my last night

There's more, but I don't want to bore you.

Words just aren't cutting it.  But essentially, God blessed me enough for the rest of my life on this trip in safety, in joy, in humbling moments, and in all the many things I learned.  I hope that I have come back a better person, and a better servant to others.  I also hope.. that one day soon, I might be able to go back.

Cambodia (Vietnam) - Part 11.

Brianna and I are getting dresses made!!!!!! I'm so excited. I hope it turns out well. But there is a tailor across the street from our guest house and we went in yesterday to scope it out. Our dresses will be made just for us the way we want it and only cost like 30$. AND the lady who measured us up and stuff is just delightful. I'm super pumped.

Ho Chi Minh City is no Sihannoukville. It's much more like Phnom Penh, busy, dirty, and loud. We did have some fun today though, as we were able to get to the zoo (after majorly touristing it up with a map check at every corner...), and the war remnants museum. When I think about Vietnam's war history as well as Cambodias, sometimes I just get overwhelmed at what we as humans are capable of doing to one another... So sad.

Tonight is girly movie night. We're going to rent a dvd player and some films, and eat crappy food. I felt kind of sick today at the museum, so we're going to keep it a little low key for now. Maybe a touch of sun stroke? Who knows. Tomorrow is another day here, Saturday we leave for Phnom Penh, and then Monday I start for home. Wow. I... just feel like time is going by so quickly.

Cambodia - Part 10.

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

Am I really here? Apparently. So many things in this trip have been so surreal, it's hard to truly convince myself that I'm sitting where I am. Oh boy.

It's been a packed couple of days. Monday morning I said my tearful goodbyes to my brother's at Samaritan Love Mission, and loaded on to the bus for Siem Riep. We arrived 12 hours later, had a quick dinner and shopping trip and hit the hay. We got up at 4:30 the next morning (ugh...) and booked it over to Ankor Wat to see the sun rise over the temples. Not going to lie, it was one of the most beautiful things I've seen. We ran around the temples for a few hours, and then went back to our guest house to pack up and head back to Phnom Penh. It was a short stay but definitely worth it!

Funny story (maybe most funny to me, so bear with me):
Last night I was exhausted from our long day at Ankor Wat and traveling. We went to our friend Lily's (delightful lady from India) appartment, but I was poor company because of my fatigue. So they sent me to bed. About an hour after I'd fallen asleep, I swore I heard Brianna trying to get into the room and for some reason thought she was locked out.
*Let's just pause for a moment for me to inform you that I sleep with a blindfold on and earplugs. Get that image in your head. Unpause. *
So straight from a dead sleep, I attempt to run across the room with my ear plugs falling out and my blindfold half on. Let's it be known that I am not very coordinated at the best of times, but just after I've woken up is probably what I'd be like if I was intoxicated. Half way to the door, while tipping over in all directions, I realized that Brianna was in the room quietly going through her bags and looking at me veeeery strangely. Oi. Back to bed for me. Even after I had laid down, I had to ask Brianna if that had actually happened, so out of it was I.

Anyways.
We're in Vietnam now. I will give you this bit of advice: if you intend on going to south east asia, go to Cambodia last because otherwise everywhere else is likely to be a let down (at least from my experiences). But, tomorrow we're off to the war remnants museum, and the zoo, and whatever other mischief we can get into.

I'm home in one week. Sigh. I think then I'll be homesick for another home.

OI! NEW PICTURE ALBUM:
Here are the links to all three, the last one being the most recent:
1) http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=116936&l=7d9c2&id=544335600
2) http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=118037&l=a4496&id=544335600
3) http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=119397&l=9643d&id=544335600

Cambodia - Part 9

How about those goodbyes?

Sigh.

They make me so sad. I haven't felt this overwhelmed in a while. I just... I know that there's nothing I can do to make time go back or slow down anymore, and the reality is that tomorrow morning I leave Sihannoukville. I said goodbye to Kong's family tonight. I cried a bit in front of them, but held out until on the motto to really get going. I'm surprised Brianna kept her balance with weepy Mcgee (...me) on the back. Saying goodbye to Kong was super hard. Tomorrow I'll be a mess.

Kong took us to the beach today, and we watched the sunset all together. Look at us, holding up that sun... cheesy as this is, if it were up to me, I would have held it up a lot longer because the days here have gone by way too fast.

I wont' lie, I know for a fact that I'm going to be really depressed in Hong Kong all alone, and when I get home for a while. I will be so happy to see everyone, dont' get me wrong, but I just can't express how divided my heart now feels...

We're both exhausted and off to bed. Tomorrow we're off to Siem Riep and Ankor Wat, then Wednesday we're Vietnam bound.

Cambodia - Part 8.

Saturday... that means... tomorrow is Sunday... that means... Monday I leave Sihannoukville and start travel week with Brianna.

We were originally supposed to leave today. That was too hard. So we said Sunday. That was too soon, so now we leave Monday for sure.

A lot has happened in the last 24 hours.

Our brother Chomreun's father passed away early this morning, from a motto accident. We went to his home to offer some support. First, the home was in an area that not many foreigners would ever go to, because it's pretty rough and the homes there are built over the water in such a way that the path leading to his house is plywood layed down realllllly sketch style. It was a bit nerve racking because I'm afraid of falling from things like that, but it was okay. Tomorrow is the funeral and I'm not sure what to expect. Although, I have been informed by Brianna that I should not wear black, but white, which she learned the hard way...

On a lighter note, we went to the waterfall today and it was wonderful. It was the Lee kids (which inclded Kong, Tiruit, Dol, Srey Mum, and Sre Mich), Brianna and myself. We loaded onto two motto's and spent the afternoon in the water.

In the evening, Brianna and I went home to clean up and change, and got ourselves fancied up a little to go out for a nice meal and drive with Kong and Tiruit. It was really nice, because I'm used to going out in the evenings when I'm at home, and not being able to feels really strange. It was great. I got to drive again!

Brianna has pink eye. She got it shortly after I got here, though it had nothing to do with me I'm sure, and it's been a frustrating haul trying to get rid of it. We've been putting eye drops in that she got from the clinic (and have dubbed said daily interactions as "dropping it like it's hot"), but today we had to get a bit more, and this weird ointment for her eye. We just put it in now, and I'm not going to ile, I don't envy her. Pray for quick healing!

Well, I may post tomorrow, but after that I'm not sure when I'll be able to be on itnernet until I get back home. So thanks for actually reading these, take care, and see you soon!

Cambodia - Part 7.

Before I continue, let me just say it - we're fine. What a good way to start a post hey?




Brianna and I got into a motto accident today. Well, it was less like an accident and more like the avoidance of an accident, which resulted in our bailing onto the street. Basically someone in front of us went to turn so we started to accelerate but he slammed on his brakes and then so did Brianna, but it was too late so she turned sharply to avoid him and we lost our balance. I was sitting side saddle, like ladies do out here, and totally fell flat on my back with my legs in the air. Please feel free to laugh hard at that image. I know I do every time it comes to me... We were quite the spectacle - two foreign girls bailing on their motto and laughing really loudly (you've read about how they feel about that one...). Goooood times.





Other than some bruising and scrapes, I'm totally fine. Brianna pulled a muscle I think, but she is also okay. We were obviously a bit shaken up after, but we were very lucky that a pair of our brothers that we'd recently split up from were still close enough to hear it, see it, and then come to our aid. They kindly drove us home. Then proceeded to laugh at me every time they saw me for the next two hours. Sigh. Oh well.

This picutre is actually not from the accident, but it shows a nice bruise I aquired when making a tool out of myself on the beach. I tried to sit down in a chair but little did I realize how broken it was and I had a good solid fall on my butt, drawing even more attention to myself by laughing super loudly. Seems to be a pattern...

I have two days left here in Sihannoukville. It makes me sick to think of leaving, but hopefully God will give me the strength to do so. Fortunately I still have one week with Brianna traveling, so I'm very much looking forward to that. It'll just be hard to say goodbye to such beautiful people.

So long for now!

Cambodia - Part 6.

There are beautiful moments all around us. We just need to remember not to think too hard about the future, or else we miss these moments in the present.

Cambodia has been beautiful moment after beautiful moment. God has been so faithful to me each and every day, keeping me safe and answering prayers. He has shown me more about love and loving everyone around me.

The orphanage is such a wonderful place to spend part of our afternoons. There are three children in particular that I want to just take home, the one on my lap in this picture (and you can clearly see why), as well as two brothers. They are just lovely and I hope they find wonderful loving homes, and know how loved they are right now in the present. What little blessings.

MOUSE STORY.

You see, I am not afraid of mice. But that does not equate to I like it when gross dirty mice touch me. Brianna warned me that there were mice in the kitchen, and my response was "that's fine, as long as they do not touch my feet".

Well, yesterday we were cooking pancakes for our brothers here at the school, and I was standing in front of the stove when lo and behold... a mouse ran across my FOOT. I shouted quite loudly, in fact I'm sure that it qualified for scream, and then proceeded to get a chair and continue with my cooking pansy style. One of my brothers definitely got a kick out of this one.

Check out the video on Facebook of me driving. Seriously do it, I dare you.

Sorry this is long, but I feel so pumped on this week that I can't help but keep going a bit longer. You see, it was the king's birthday on tuesday, so that means three days of holidays here (yes, we are on a holiday in Cambodia...). Therefore, Brianna and I packed up the Lee family (the family of her good friend Kong with delightful and adorible siblings) and went to swim in the ocean!!!! It rained for the most part, but it was so warm in the ocean and we were so wet it didn't matter! We swam in our clohtes, because that's just how you do it here. A tad more modest than north america would you say?

I lost my glasses in the ocean.

That kind of sucked. But it would have sucked more if I'd actually paid anything for them (they were the second part of a buy one get one free deal) and had not been prepared with a second pair of glasses here. Honestly, it I'd not had a second pair here this would be a rough few days. So now I guess it's official, I really have to get new glasses when I'm back.

Well, thats' all I have for now, though I'm sure there's more to say. I hope you are all well!

Cambodia - Part 5.

Well well well.

I'm not going to lie, I am so in love with everything around me right now. I'm in Sihanoukville, where I've been since I arrived. On Saturday morning the plan is to leave here adn travel for a week and then I fly home. The thought of saying goodbye Saturday is horrific to me. I want to stay longer. I neeeed to travel around the country for sure, but I can't imagine just leaving after that and not coming back here. I'm seriously thinking about changing my return flight for a few days or a week later than planned, but I'm not sure. Thoughts?

I learned to drive a motto today. ROCK ON. I'll post a viedeo on my facebook eventually, so check it out. It was awesome.

Things here are great. Brianna and I cooked pancakes for our brothers here and they definitely all pretended to like them but really... didn't. Maybe one of them did, but I can't tell. Oh well, now they kind of know how we feel every day... Aha. Although, i dont' mind rice as much as Brianna does.

Funny story: Our friend Kong went to the market to buy us some fruit, because if we went the prices would be muuuuch higher due to our white skin. We asked for 8 bananas, 6 mangoes, and 1kg of rambutam. Well, when we communicated 8 bananas, he misinterpretted it for 8 bunches of bananas... So we ended up with like 80 bananas on hand, when we only wanted 8... we laughed all the way home, while I tried to balance 80 bananas and other fruits on my lap on the back of the motto. Awesome.

Hope all is well with everyone. Later!
(ps. more pictures on facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=116936&l=7d9c2&id=544335600

and

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=118037&l=a4496&id=544335600)

Cambodia - Part 4.

So I won't lie, I have been surprised at how little I seemed to be affected by the poverty around me.

But today, I figured things out a bit. It was a day filled with ackwardness, shame, humility, hilarity, and absolute joy. What a combo.

The pastor at SLM here brought two friends from Phnom Penh to here (Sihanoukville) to meet Brianna and I - and let me tell you he had a not so hidden agenda of a potential hook up. It was ackward. For Cambodia, these men are incredibly rich. Like, we all climbed into a Lexus SUV rich. Like, work for the government rich. They are also 30 something years old (insert big collar tug here). We ate lunch with them, and then the pastor left with our friend and got us and our brother here to hang out with these men.

It was really hard. Why?

1) It looks bad to see foreign women with rich Khmer men. It kind implies we're using them for their money. In... questionable ways.

2) How could I possibly ignore the incredibly poverty around me and enjoy the rich life in Cambodia? Or anywhere? I almost cried in the vehicle at the thought.

You see, it's not that I have not been affected by the poverty. I have been aware of it all along, and my response has been to view each person as equal in worth and value. So being in a position where I was appearing like an ignorant North American... it was painful. I'm not opposed to riches entirely (obviously), but I am opposed to the rich forgetting that there are those who have little to nothing, and their blessing could bless others as well.

Sigh.

But then tonight redeemed it all. We went to Brianna's Cambodian family's home for dinner. It was just a wonderful time of joy, laughter, westerner mockery (in a delightful way), pictures, and fun. Their hospitality astounds me, and fills me with a desire to always seek to offer that to others.

"Do not think of yourself more highly than you oughts, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you". (Romans 12:3)

Over and out.

Cambodia - Part 3

Well it has been one working week that I've been in this country now.

There's so much to say and never much time to say it. I shall share the highlights. If you want to see pictures, please look at my facebook album, because I'm having a hard tiem uploading them onto here. The nets a little slow you know.

+ Brianna is pretty much my hero. God is doing good things in her and through her, and it's pretty beautiful to see.

+ Driving here is insane, and hilarious. But now that I've been here a few days, it doesn't seem so scary.

+ All the girls I've met in Cambodia are just charming. They are so sweet and delightful.

+ Jonah, Brianna's "boss" (the pastor here at the school) is trying to set us up with people. At first I thought it was a joke, but then i realized he's kind of serious. Akward...

+ It's hot here all the time.

+ Apparently it's not really common for girls (or guys I think too) to burst out into laughter. Well if you can imagine, it's kind of hard for me to be culturally approp with that one, so you will often have people staring at brianna and i as we drive around on her moto laughing our heads off at something random.

+ Brianna and I had a spontaneous dance part to the backstreet boys in her room the other day. It was a fantastic time.

+ Um.. i might go to vietnam for a few days. YEEEHAWWW!

That's all for now I think. We have internet all weekend so i'll post some good stories when I'm able to think of them.

Cambodia - Part 2

Greetings from the other side of the world (unless, of course, you are Brianna reading this, in which case I say greetings from right beside you).

I made it! After a lot of time on planes and in airports, I finally got here to Cambodia. I arrived in Phnom Penh yesterday and hung out there. I have not been affected to badly by jet lag, which is exciting. The flight from Vancouver to Hong Kong was 13 hours of having the man in front of me reclined as far back as possible, and four crying children surrounding me (one of which considers kicking the back of my chair a air born pass time.

For the record, my feet are enourmous from traveling. It's funny. Check it out. Ummmm actually don't yet because I'm not putting hte picture on until tomorrow when I'm not so tired.


From what I've seen so far, Cambodia is really beautiful. Phnom Penh, not so much, but outside of it is a different story.

Tomorrow morning I start teaching english. You know, I'm not sure it'll be my thing but I'll find that out tomorrow - a little nerve racking, but nothing next to a 13 hour flight.

Anyways, I'm off to bed. Hope you're all well.