out with the old man.

i think i'm becoming who i want to be more and more each day.

i've found it in myself to get really discouraged about how i'm not there, and have forgotten to focus on the fact that i'm getting there. which is a touch ridiculous, as we never will be everything we want for ourselves, but we will constantly be seeking ways to better ourselves, and this is good. it is not bad, and i do not have to make it bad.

i'm learning how to take things as they come. the world is changing around me, and life doesn't stop when you need it to. so you keep going. and you find the people you can lean on when you need to.

i'm learning how to balance the needs of others with my own (finally...). i have a friend who is very very intentional about the things she does for her friends, and i think its' wonderful and i want to be like that. at the same time, as i am becoming a stronger, more independent woman, that i am able to discern when it is best to deal with some tension in order to make things better, rather than to try and fix it all the time and have issues repeat themselves. we can be intentional both ways. for so long i just assumed it my job to make everything right. that's not really one persons job.

i'm learning that i can set my mind on something and i can do it. i ran a half marathon. i hated running. i hated all things athletic to be honest. but it felt good to do something that actually required me to put time and energy into preparation for it over months, and then to do, and do it well. there is a very wonderful feeling that accompanies that.

i love that there are peole around me that really support all of these things. i'm excited about what is to come.